Fashion Furlough, Stylin and Profilin

Fashion Furlough

Welcome to Fashion Furlough. I’m Frankie, I’ll be your assistant, BFF, ace and your vacation fashion opinionated buddy. Nothing is more tragic than to see vacationers bumming around in something that they bum around in at home. You have just spent hundreds or thousands of dollars going on vacation, why not dress like it? I have some comfy items that must be packed too but a Vegas night club is not the place for flip flops, torn shorts, and an oversized t-shirt. You are not considered hip if you are standing in line all night. Keep in mind there is a time and place for your “can’t live without,” ensembles. You might get in the club before midnight if you take time to dress appropriately for the occasion.

Spring is in the Air

How I love spring! It signals the beginning of colors, fragrances, and materials that were stored for the last 4 months-depending on your locale. Nationally, we all get to be butterflies for the upcoming summer with fashion choices abundant. Pack up those corduroys, turtle necks, wool coats, and hats because Spring is time for stylin and profilin.

Yuck!

Hygiene is definitely next to Godliness. Nothings yuckier than a well dressed person suffering in one or more hygienic departments. Don’t be that nice shiny apple thats rotten to the core.

Men Hygiene Tip of the Month
De-Feet

Guys if you have ugly toes do the world a favor and hide them. Definition:

• Multitude of corns
• Yellow, long, or dirty toe nails
• Toes that look like they have been in the blender set on puree

The beach is about the only place you can get away with exposing your crusty piggy’s. You have the luxury of burying them in the sand as you walk or drowning them in the ocean. However, if you plan on walking the streets in open toe sandals wear something awesome to deflect attention from the horror. Have your “I was in a motorcycle accident,” story ready for those who can’t help but to stare.

I suggest you purchase closed toe sandals, casual shoes, or sox and sneakers. A pedicure might enhance them piggy’s if you can pay someone enough money to touch them. When people are walking past staring at your feet it’s not a good sign.

Women Hygiene Tip of the Month
Ouch! You Cut Me

Ladies men love long, well manicured nails running down their backs. They hate long, well or unwell, toe nails cutting up their ankles. The poor man is bleeding to death while playing footsy at dinner. Ladies it’s time for a pedicure when:

• Your toe nails curve over the top of your open toe shoes
• You are constantly putting holes in stockings and sox
• Your shoe size is constantly increasing

It amazes me how some ladies think that dragon toes are sexy. Unless you are trying out for the dragon part for Shrek on stage it’s time for a trim.

I suggest that all ladies invest in a French pedicure. Not only does this pedicure look great on the female foot, it assures you won’t have to register your feet as lethal weapons.
You’re welcome men.

Men’s Water Vines
To speedo or not to speedo that is the Question?

Guys, I want to get this out of the way right now, speedo’s are not for everyone. I wont dwell on this because some men are so cocky that they refuse to listen (or read) to reason. I will give you a few scenarios that you can measure whether or not the speedo is right for you. If you can answer “that’s me,” to any of the statements put the speedo down:

• I can’t see my speedo when I look straight down
• I am constantly pulling my speedo out of my butt
• My legs are turning blue from lack of circulation
• My kid asked me why am I wearing mommy’s bikini bottoms
• I see people trying not to laugh when they are looking my way
• I like to wear fanny packs
• Hair, thickly, covers my entire body

My advice is to invest in swim trunks that go well with your not so model body. Don’t try to make a round peg fit in a speedo hole.

Man About Town

Here are some great spring and summer ensembles for men. Guys keep in mind that the ladies, this means wives too, like men who keep it together. They will likely overlook that beer gut if your threads are in order. Here are a few well put together outfits that might give you some ideas for your vacation wear.

Vacation casual for walking around town

A nice shirt and slacks go a long way fellas

High roller? Dress like one

Simple attire for hanging out

Dude, we rock!

Women Water Vines
One piece, two piece, or More?

Ladies choosing the right bikini for your body is an awesome challenge and a duty to society. There are some things you want to show and some things you don’t. However, some of you can’t figure out what piece bathing suits can accomplish both per your body type.

If you are small to medium in size then you should be able to find a suitable two piece that works with you. However, even the small and medium ladies can suffer from “muffin top,” so be aware of any extra skin hanging over your bikini bottoms. An easy fix to this might be sarong wraps that can be placed around the muffin parts. This will help to ease your mind when strolling down the beach past wandering eyes. You can find bikini sarong wraps that coordinate with the color(s) of your swim suit at most department stores. However, if you have too much skin hanging out of your two piece bathing suit then maybe it’s time to consider alternatives.

My plus size ladies must keep in mind that less is more so don’t confuse muffin top with bakery top. I suggest that you concentrate on one piece swim suits or tank-kini’s that accentuate the finer qualities of your shape. One pieces bathing suits and tank=kini’s also help to detract from the parts that you don’t want noticed while keeping you comfortable. Stay away from pastel and neon colors as they tend to enlarge their hosts tenfold. Subtle natural tans, blue, black, brown, and vertical patterned colors work well. Just keep in mind that you don’t have to show it all to get the point across.

Who’s that lady!?

Ladies here are some spring fashion ideas for your next trip. Just because a model has it on doesn’t mean you can’t work it. You can mimic most of these ensembles at your local clothing stores so get out there and shop like a rock star!

Ladies, comfy and sexy...guys will flock "GAP"

Who says you can't rock pinks & browns "JC Penny"

I Love linen "New York Company"

Let see, hot, hot, and hot "GAP"

BiKini and Tank-Kini, choose wisely "Macy's"

Gimme the money, cause you goin home alone tonight "JC Penny"

These colors are perfect for shell collecting at Sanibel, FL "JC Penny"

Going on Vacation early? Any of these three are perfect "Vanhansen"

Mr. GQ & Ms. Vouge

I like to see how my readers are stylin and profilin. However if you got any questions about fashion let’s gab away. Feel free to send me a picture of the hottest outfit you wore while on vacation. If you are totally stylin and profilin then I’ll post you picture so you can show the world how to rock it. Swim wear, casual, and night time attire are all applicable. Please include your name/nick name and the place where you were rockin out. Couple stylin and profilin are welcome. Send your Info to FashionFurlough@aol.com.

Keep it in Style

Frankie

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